Love Matters

Sometimes, there are things we can't verbalize or have difficulty expressing to our significant other. Feelings that need to be expressed but just somehow can't quite make it from what you're feeling, to what needs to be said.

In a relationship, if it is to be successful, that is one hurdle that has to be jumped quite regularly. If your partner doesn't know what you're feeling, then how can they help you deal with it? Or if it's something your partner is doing, how can they fix it? No matter how long you've been together and how well he knows you, your partner will never be psychic. You have to tell him what's going on, and vice versa. This issue is compounded when he lives a few hundred miles away, and you have to deal with a separation for several months.

I'm stuck in that situation right now.

The man I love more than life is moving away in less than 3 weeks. I'm doing everything I can to be the strong supportive woman that he needs in his life, without breaking down crying every time I see him. It absolutely kills me inside that I won't be able to see him regularly like I have over the last year and a half of our relationship.

I hate to say I wish he wasn't leaving, because that sounds like I don't want him chasing his dreams, and catching them if he can. I don't want to make him feel bad because he's getting a few steps closer to getting what he wants in life.

But I do need an outlet.

I need a place to spill out all the things that keep swirling around in my head so I can pick out what really matters to discuss with him. I'm positive that our relationship will not suffer terribly from this, and that I'm hoping the cliche of "absence makes the heart grow fonder" proves true in this case, rather than "out of sight, out of mind."

I need somewhere to take the the whirlwind of thoughts in my head, calm them, organize them, put them into words. Communication is key, and I need a tool to make it easier for me. I will definitely run the gamut of emotions from elation to depression, and likely within the course of a single entry. I may go days between entries, or I may go hours.

This is the man who has stuck with me through the last year and a half. We've dealt with a lot of things that might cause other couples to fall apart. He deserves my support, and he deserves nothing less than clear communication.

He's fond of telling me that if we can survive this, we can survive anything.

Love can survive. I won't accept any other result.